Afterword
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Methodology
AFTERWORDBy Deborah WadsworthPresident, Public Agenda
Aggravating Circumstances grew out of a Pew/Public Agenda initiative that originally set out to explore American attitudes about ethics, morality, civility and manners. People had much to say about all of these concerns, and we at Public Agenda realized that each aspect of the problem was undoubtedly worthy of a full study of its own. But we were especially intrigued by what some might consider a "less important" topic—respect and courtesy. Participants in our focus groups were clearly incensed by what they perceived as a widespread lack of civility and decline in respect among their fellow citizens. The Pew Charitable Trusts was open to Public Agenda's suggestion that we refocus our sights on such issues, which, to our knowledge, have not yet received attention in a thorough public opinion study.
In truth, we were not totally surprised by the outpouring of concern about these issues, because earlier Public Agenda studies had documented an overwhelming agreement among adults about disrespectful behavior by the young; among high school students about their acknowledged incivility toward each other; and even, in the public overall, over the lack of concern for others in so many situations.
Rudeness on the Rise
What we did not anticipate was the level of unhappiness expressed by those interviewed for this study—and their honest appraisal of their own behavior—admitting that they themselves are frequently guilty of the transgressions that most upset them in others. Large majorities said they believe rude and selfish behavior has increased (6 in 10) and that Americans really did treat each other with more respect in the past (7 in 10).
Most focus group participants had stories to tell based on evidence in their daily lives. Some talked about being intimidated on the highway by a bullying SUV driver; others of being interrupted by an incessantly ringing cell phone in the midst of a quiet dinner in a restaurant. One man even described the rush of adrenaline he felt in attempting to avoid being run down by a skateboarding teenager at the mall, and most had stories of sales clerks who refused to acknowledge one's existence.
Lip Service to Service
Nearly half (46 percent) of all those we interviewed for this study reported that they have walked out of a store in the past year due to bad service. People describe their exasperation with clerks paying lip service to civility, even as they behave carelessly, insulting customers by going through the motions while delivering rude and unintelligible answers to requests for help. To be fair, rudeness cuts both ways, and large numbers of those we interviewed (74 percent) confirm that they also often see customers being rude or disrespectful to people in customer service. Moreover, people believe that customer service has undoubtedly suffered from cost-cutting and efforts to maximize productivity. It appears to many, however, that organizations and businesses are investing too little in what matters most—treating customers with courtesy and respect. Rude employees with inadequate training are unacceptable to many who believe that although some improvements may be costly, basic courtesy need not come at the expense of the bottom line.
Kids Mimicking Parents?
Participants in this and earlier Public Agenda studies are particularly troubled by the behavior of the young and are quick to make clear that they hold parents responsible for not educating their children on these matters. Any discussion of the social deficits of young people—their lack of manners, courtesy and respect—is inexorably linked, people say, to parents. Anyone who has raised a child knows just how talented youngsters are at mimicking their parents' behavior. In focus groups parents themselves often acknowledge that they're not parenting as well as they might, and with adults confessing their own shortcomings, the question might be, "How can society help in this regard?" Rudeness probably begets rudeness, whatever the setting, and adults might be asked if they'd be willing to rein in their own behavior, guard their own venting as a means of mitigating this contagion of disrespect.
Collective Grousing
The question begging for an answer, the study suggests, is, Given these "aggravating circumstances," this accumulation of rudeness that seems to linger and grow in its impact, what are people willing to do to improve the current situation? For it is just that—a situation which we appear to have grown accustomed to and, despite our collective grousing, a situation we appear to be tolerating. Surely, it is not a problem without a solution. We undoubtedly have the capacity to imagine that circumstances might be otherwise. Perhaps it comes down to whether or not we have the will to change our attitudes and modify our behavior so that we no longer lose our cool and behave with utter disrespect for others.
I believe there is precedence for such resolve. Not very long ago, our society concluded that racism, disrespect for those who are gay and insensitivity to those with handicaps were no longer acceptable. We began to teach respect for diversity, not to fear or hate those who are different. We even had the courage to challenge behavior assumed to be "personal" and therefore "off-limits," such as smoking in public places, which is no longer accepted as an inherent, inalienable right of the individual. While we've still not achieved all we would wish, no one would deny that America has made progress on these fronts.
Can Policy Makers Help Us?
I would submit that, given the strength of Public Agenda's findings, consideration of civility as an alternative to rudeness is a response that many would embrace. We even had a brief intimation of what is possible immediately after the tragic events of this past September. But, some will maintain, we don't have the staying power to curb our individual behavior without reinforcements from the rest of society. Our natural proclivity in the face of social problems is to hope legislation might help to save us from ourselves. In this particular instance, however, policy makers themselves probably need help. At a bipartisan retreat held under the auspices of the Aspen Institute several years ago, members of Congress decried the loss of civility in their daily transactions and acknowledged that it has led to a rise in partisanship and divisiveness—behavior which many agree undermines our ability as a society to tackle common problems.
Individual and Collective Will
So, we face a dilemma. Daily life, from the perspective of those we interviewed, appears to be littered with unacceptable behavior, which has grown worse over time and shows no sign of abating on its own. The concept of a "tipping point"—that moment in an epidemic when it reaches a critical mass—probably is an apt description of what we've come to in terms of our incivility and disrespect for one another. We would probably all agree that it will take significant individual and collective resolve to challenge this epidemic of rudeness. Surely, we can muster the effort, the focus and the creativity to reach out in ways small and large to remedy this situation. Perhaps, the amount of energy participants describe it takes to cope with the stress our present situation produces could be the very fuel that is needed to make the necessary changes.
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